None of it. She started getting in trouble at school, being disrespectful to her teachers and that sort of thing. He thought it was a party. But she was persistent and he agency took back Baby after a week.". I knew one mother in town who deadbolt locked her bedroom door and slept with a knife under her pillow out of fear of her adoptive daughter. It's the one thing in my life I wish I could undo. I adopted two three-month-old kittens just two days ago. Very quickly, NO other kid will hang out with this kid. Toddlers are hystericalââespecially when they have absurd tantrums. They were told they were getting a newborn, she arrived almost a year old and extremely malnourished and neglected. When the caseworker discovered this, the child was interviewed by a psychologist and they discovered the child had been abused and had major trauma and manifesting issues. I'm sure after all the pain he caused, my mother regrets ever adopting that child.". "I have two adopted Haitian brothers, they are biological brothers and they joined our family at 13 and 11 years old. The agency tried to reason with her, she kept the baby a few more days, refusing to use/choose a name and just called her Baby. Greta had some emotional & behavioral problems which later turned into psychological problems. I adopted my dog Remi shortly after stay at home orders went into place, and it's one of the best things I've ever done. Sad situation all around really.". He had five siblings, numerous nieces and nephews, many friends - yet no one was allowed to visit him. But, at the same time, it's a huge commitment that will completely change the lives of adoptive parents. This girl had a history of trouble with her previous fosters, but had been doing very well with my coworker for the whole time they were fostering her. Something that is very sad for her. I'm actually a little worried what will happen then. By age 16, he's in a state facility for assaulting a younger kid. One of my grandmas died of a stroke the same day he went over to torment her. He was violent and disrespectful towards them, towards teachers, toward fellow students, he couldn't be controlled. If I’m being honest, I can’t stand the guy. I think the cherry on the cake was when the mom found a journal the girl had been keeping saying how much she was in love with that little boy. It's not that my mom regrets adopting them, she loves those boys as much as she does her bio kids, but she does wish things had been different. She goes to university and is on her final year, so she hosts a graduation party at their house. The police traced the call to our house and he lied to the them about it. At first, this child might seem like the perfect fit for a family. Content has been edited for clarity. By this time my friend's wife was afraid of the kid, and then the girl was caught inappropriately touching the baby. A little over a week ago I adopted a puppy from our local shelter. "We adopted my brother when he has 5. Jill Totenberg owns her own public relations firm and is an adoptive parent. Her main excuse was that she was trying to get back to the family that neighbor "stole" her from. Bullying was only the start and he quickly grew into a classic example of an abuser. My neighbor tried various therapists, doctors, narcotics, everything she could think of. I feel like my childhood was taken from me. people shared their stories. They took a video of MacArthur shaking the hands of a line of soldiers and used it for a pro-American propaganda film to be played before movies in the US. I don't know his exact age but below 4 or 5, maybe much younger. Within a few months, it becomes clear this kid is really disturbed. According to them I cried nonstop for about a year. She had a whole slew of issues, but what topped it off was when she started developing a crush on one of her adopted brothers. This caused them to block off the road and send a helicopter out. Both my mom and my aunt were adopted. Through therapy, they discovered the boys both bad reverse attachment disorder worsened by being taken out of their previous home. This was mid-80s, back when nobody thought babies need to be picked up and held to ensure correct mental development. This lead to a lot of attention needed to be directed toward the adoptive brother. My mum sent him back inside but my sister and I caught him trying to sneak the phone from his room. The adoption fell through and she went back into the foster care system. container: 'taboola-mid-article-1x1', My regret was almost instant. Greta had some emotional & behavioral problems which later turned into psychological problems, neighbor tried various therapists, doctors, drugs etc. There will be problems. He is 13 now and it's been a long time since we even thought of him as an ''adopted child''. , Should Women Delay Motherhood? Now that she's pregnant with her second child, Petro is planning to take time off. Stay Safe! Iâll be Doing more Episodes, Enjoy! I used to babysit one who became furious with me for not disclosing my age. So, they decided to look into adopting some older kids. Really tragic. She was seeing a therapist regularly and everything was shaping up to be a clean adoption process. She started getting in trouble at school, being disrespectful to her teachers and that sort of thing. Then she started acting out suddenly. The older one is not currently in jail but has been in and out for several years now. I've just recently adopted a 12 week old kitten named Henry. People Break Down The One Fact About Them That No One Ever Believes. When they cried they would drop to their knees and bang their heads on the ground HARD. I didnt take it well, obviously, but somehow getting a new cat seemed like a good idea. The mother and the son caught the adopted daughter watching him sleep multiple times. They were matched with a set of brothers who had been in the system for awhile. "I'm the older brother to adopted special-needs twins. They'd then pass the butt between them to get a tiny puff. Especially since war can be avoided if humans could just get our act together. When I finally got around to seeing Rob Zombie's 2007 remake of Halloween, it reminded me exactly of this kid. Greta had some emotional & behavioral problems which later turned into psychological problems, neighbor tried various therapists, doctors, drugs etc. ", People Share The Best War Stories That Their Grandparents Ever Divulged About WWII. She was told later that she could have. Now theyâre moving on. I was about 12 at the time and it was devastating. I can't eat, don't sleep and even forget to shower. Some parents aren't ready for this kind of change and sometimes they end up regretting their decision. "A woman I worked with had been fostering a 13 year old girl for over 2 years, and had started the adoption process. It's so helpful to have an interesting personal fact in your arsenal. I was also so saddened by this story bc they went into this with pure intentions looking to provide a loving home to children who need one only to have all of that destroyed by lies and. It determines what kind of life theyâre going live, who theyâre going to love, what kind of career theyâll have. At first I thought it was kind of messed up that my parents would "return" a baby, but it really worked out better for everyone in the end. Her mother never followed through on the open adoption, never sent pictures as promised. Fast forward many years later, my aunt and mother now in their 50s, my grandmother passed, and my grandfather in his 80s with declining health and mental stability. Then she started acting out suddenly. This boy gave them every issue. Sometimes adopting a child can bring a lot of joy to the family and the child. This was an all day thing. They are such amazing and cute kitties but having two cats here is very overwhelming for me. He has had a good life but has major issues with being adopted and suffers with depression. Legally disowned him at 17 after he stabbed their other kid with a kitchen knife. Last time I heard from her they were looking for permanent placement in a private in patient care facility.". I love her yet she is not my child. mode: 'thumbnails-m', I hadnât been forgotten. â¦ placement: 'Mid Article Thumbnails', They were the 'perfect' couple. They are now in their 30's and have over a dozen children between them that they don't care for. "I had a professor in college, and she and her husband were having trouble getting pregnant. Hi! Turns out they lied to them. , She already had a 7 year old son who was ecstatic he had a baby sister and he put her to bed every night. Refund Policy. Adopted a 6 year old girl, Greta, from a foreign country a few years later when neighbor was 50. My regret is that I didn't have the knowledge then that I do now as my son would never have been adopted. And there was a few times where she would hold him down and tickle him inappropriately. etc. He's been gone for a month now, but has left disruptive trails all over. Content has been edited for clarity, When a couple wants to add on to their family, they start thinking about the many ways they can have children. They insisted on visiting whenever they wanted, they wanted her to stay with them on holidays and birthdays and random weekends. I would also mention that feelings of regret, no matter the circumstances, are completely normal. It wasn't me, but my neighbors when I was about 10 years old adopted a girl that was my age. Greta ended up running away the first time at 14. A neighbor lost her only child in a car accident when child was 17. And love. I am wondering if anyone, after reading these boards, regrets how they adopted their children? "We adopted a 3 year old. . 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed! He proceeded to flip out and threw a plate (plastic, but still). Before you adopt you need to know what to expect. I think disappointment is a more fitting term. I suffer with severe depression and Iwill be onmedication for the rest of my life. After an investigation, he was totally cleared of any wrongdoing. The final straw was when she accused my coworker's husband of assaulting her. I Adopted a Child and Have No Regrets. Kids in foster care have been through a lot. , Kids are so easily formed by their environments that adoption can really be a whole second set of challenges for both parent and child. I adopted a cat, regretted it, returned him, and now I regret it more. There probably was a much longer list that I'm not intimately aware of. It could have ruined her husband's life. He was very entitled and immature. The final straw was when she accused my coworker's husband of assaulting her. He was released at 18. It ended up being a lie, but the damage was done. My anxiety levels are through the roof. He's violent, has learning issues, the shortest temper, the works. I adopted my newborn when I was a teen. Both of the boys (middle school age) were acting out so badly they were frequently suspended and nearing expulsion. They had several emergency sessions with her therapist but the girl shut everyone out. Around that time my professor got pregnant and soon had a baby boy. I'm not going to tell you about the difficulty of having broken siblings or how it affected my development. We adopted Trailways ("Trai") when he was just 2 1/2. So to keep him out of the system, we briefly adopted him. I mean they leave the room. My daughter â¦ They wanted my friend to commit to 5 day a week therapy sessions, and the grandparents were being investigated for their role in the abuse. The adoption fell through and she went back into the foster care system. She told me that had she known then what she knows now that she wouldn't have adopted me and would have had "her own" children instead. The decision to have children should never be made lightly, and I had known for most of my adulthood that I never wanted to take on the task. He's maybe early to mid teens now. As the sisters grew up into adults, my aunt had very apparent mental health issues that started to show, but again, nothing to make my family regret bringing her in. She took his money, his house, and alienated every other member of the family from his life. The mother and the son caught the adopted daughter watching him sleep multiple times. ", "My parents' best friends adopted a son from Russia as a 2 year old. One of those ways is through adoption. I adopted a teenager 2 years ago. My mother tried coping by developing a drinking problem. Iâve been thinking about it for months, but I was going to wait until I saw a cat today that I thought was my perfect match. Second adoption story, my aunt was 'told by God' that she needed to adopt an orphan from Africa after she sat next to a black child in church one day. She adopted a 6 year old girl, Greta, from a foreign country a few years later when neighbor was 50. They've agreed to love and care for that child through thick and thin. Both boys were severely malnourished and delayed, both had severe issues stemming from the trauma they endured as 3rd world orphans, and the town my mom was living in at the time was not equipped to handle them. I asked him to guess my age. Turned out she and her husband had divorced and she had moved to the other state with her son and he had stayed and had the 2 boys. For a kitten he's very well behaved (uses the litter box, does scratch too much etc.) You should be â¦ I can personally only account for feelings of regret after having chosen to place my child. One died a few months after they left foster care from spinal meningitis. And again a few months later. Adopted children generally come with a great deal of emotional trauma--either from their orphanage or their parental situation, or for whatever reason. They already had 3 other adopted children and 1 that was actually their own. Hurting animals, hoarding things in his room, making suicidal and inappropriate comments. That freedom to hit the salsa club on a weeknight, those casual text invitations to same-day happy hours. "My great uncle and great aunt adopted a girl. He was with us for three months and we reached breaking point by the second. I could go on. Women are waiting longer to start families. All those child-free years we had together feel forsaken. This boy gave them every issue. They we immediately labelled as bad kids and there were no supports available. They scream-cried all day every day until they were 8. Kid goes through puberty. They sent her back to her foster home after only a few months of her living with them.". So my professor and her husband were stuck with these 2 boys who hated their adoptive family under extremely difficult and stressful circumstances. They found out during the party and felt publicly humiliated, as it was expected. I Rehomed My DogâAnd I Donât Regret It Alex Frost 9/11/2019. They told us we could pay $40,000 a month to keep him there or bring him home. All that time I was valuing that lifestyle, cherishing it and my friends in it, what was it to them, that they can so decisively change it? My dad did admit to me later in life that he does regret adopting him due to the stress it put on him and my mom, and how his behavior took away from me and my biological brothers childhood by constantly having to deal with problems he got into. I believe that if they do let him out it's just a matter of time. My parents tried for years to have a child of their own and adopted me at 3 months old.